Friday, March 31, 2006

Tinted Love


Hasn't it been long enough for us to realize that these "do-it-yourself" tint kits simply don't work. You spend all this money pimping your beloved ride. Spending every bit of cash you have to make the metal love of your life an absolute heart stopped, and then you go and put a $19.99 tint on your windows. Com'on peeps, think before you roll that light gray seran wrap across your windows. Seems to me someone should invent an easy way to remove this material. There are too many homies sitting low in teh seat, hand on top of the wheel, base bumping and bubble marks along the whole length of their windows. Fix it. Please.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Ahh, The wonderful wizard of OZ.


So. This is where I have been. Ohh sure you go buy a house and....yeah...you live in a house. That's only true if you can manage to crawl out from under it and make it through the front door. To give a small example. One morning I scheduled having my cabinets for my new kitchen delivered. The doorbell rings 15 minutes early, at 6:45am. I scramble downstairs to let them in. I then notice water dripping down the wall in the kitchen-ceiling to the floor. The delivery guys now have half my living room filled with boxes. The front door has been open for 5 minutes and my house temp has dropped to 33 degrees. I run to the basement to get a box cutter to check the cabinets and realize the water is running down there too and has dropped my ceiling to the floor. I get back upstairs to see that the last cabinet won't fit through my front door. I know it won't fit through the back door, so we call the company and agree to take out the front window and try and get it in. And, by taking out the window I mean, unscrewing it and removing it completely. As that’s happening, the locksmith and the cable guy show up. Meanwhile the water is still streaming down the entire house. We finally get the cabinet in through the window and the delivery guys leave. $20 for them. Cable guy and locksmith get to work so both the front and back doors are now open. Temp: 25 degrees. I run upstairs to find the leak. After about 5 minutes I locate it and stop the water by shutting a bad valve under the sink. Locksmith guy is yelling for me. I run back downstairs. It’s the Slomin's guy. He is here for the alarm consultation. The locksmith guy wouldn't let him in without me. Good for him. All this time Danielle is in the shower. She thankfully is out of the shower so I can deal with the cable guy drilling holes in my house for wires while she handles Slomins. Locksmith guy finishes. $250 bill, $20 in his pocket. Cable guy finishes. He ran some extra wires drilled some extra holes for me. $20 in his pocket. Danielle finishes with Slomins. He leaves. No cash for him yet. (Note: $100 in his pocket after instillation.) Door closes behind him on the way out. Time-11:00 Temp in house-57 degrees.

So when you say enjoy the house. I'll say thanks I will. But what I am really saying is fuck this 100 year old house is beatin' the crap out of me and my wallet and I have only been the owner for a month. You better believe I am going to enjoy it because if I wait it might kill me before I have the chance.